The Office of the Premier,
501 Belleville Street,
I am writing in response to your recent invoice, which states that my Visa bill has been overdue since 2002, allegedly to the tune of $275 million dollars per year, or $35,000,000.000 over the past 13 years.
As I explained in 2002, since I incurred this debt, I have changed my mind. I didn’t want to spend that money. As I’ve made clear to you in the past, I have decided not to pay this bill. It’s too much money and I won’t be paying it.
My lawyer, Mr. Fassbender has also told you several times that I won’t be paying, and my accountant Mr. Cameron, has explained that any money I owe you can only be paid on a net zero basis; made up in savings from other parts of my contract with Visa.
Despite the two court judgments you have that say I’m required to pay, I must repeat; I’m not paying. What is it you don’t understand about “I’m not paying”?
I must also say I find your demands ridiculous and your ongoing intransigence in negotiating about this matter disappointing.
$35,000,000? Where will I find that kind of money?
That’s way outside the little “affordability” circle I recently made up.
Besides, I’ve already given the money to friends and private credit card companies.
I am operating under a very strict balanced budget that does not include money for this kind of inconsequential nonsense.
I know it’s not the real Visa workers that are unreasonable – the average Visa worker would accept my explanation because they actually love their customers. It’s just a few management radicals that are forcing employees to be so continuously demanding and militant.
They’ve always had it in for customers who don’t pay their Visa invoices. I think most British Columbians would agree with me on that.
If you don’t believe me, listen to C.K.N.W. sometime.
The GVMF (Greedy Visa Management Force) is militant, radical and greedy and you don’t like your customers. It’s always all about you, isn’t it?
You say it’s about your customers, but it’s really about your always wanting more for yourselves.
I have offered Visa an emergency fund of 65 million dollars to make up for the amount owing. I would control the fund and I have promised to be fair in its allocation – what could possibly go wrong?
I find your unwillingness to accept my offer disappointing and not in the best interest of Visa customers and British Columbians.
As a result, I’ve instructed my team to persistently vilify Visa in the media and I am reducing the interest I pay Visa by 10%, effective immediately.
I have filed appeals to the two court rulings against me. I will continue to appeal as necessary and I assure you; you will never get one dime from me unless you pry it from my cold, dead hand.
Angrily, Christy Clark
cc Mastercard; American Express; Sears Canada; Treo Tolls